At what point in an unhealthy relationship do you say “enough is enough” and I have to take care of myself?
Leaving a toxic relationship is no easy task sometimes. A toxic person often will try to hold onto you, despite you trying to leave. There may be guilt involved in leaving if the person is unstable and mentally/emotionally unwell.
However, there has to be a tipping point in the relationship that you reach – and usually it comes when you hit rock bottom emotionally. It usually happens when your self-esteem is so damaged and when you are constantly feeling bad about yourself, that you begin to wonder, “what am I doing and why am I putting up with this kind of treatment?”
A toxic relationship wears on your energy and mental health. It can leave you feeling sucked dry mentally, emotionally and even physically. Typically in a toxic relationship, one person is doing all the work to keep the relationship even keeled, while the other person is living seemingly unscathed and not bothered.
One thing everyone needs to realize when leaving a toxic relationship and the main questions you have to ask yourself are: “am I being treated the way I want to be treated?” and “is this good enough for me?”
If you are not being treated the way you desire, and if the relationship falls far short of your expectations repeatedly, don’t hold onto a hope for change. That’s the worst mistake one can make. We cannot fall in love with our partner’s potential for the person they could be or sometimes can be. We have to be in love with who they are now, just as they are now.
When leaving a toxic relationship, you are showing self-care and self-love. To truly love oneself, you have to feel and fully embrace in your heart and soul the concept that you deserve far better. That is the key to being able to leave and walk away – realizing that you can do better and that better is out there in the world for you.
A toxic relationship feels unhealthy. If you are questioning whether it’s healthy for you, you have to ask yourself if that person is enhancing your life in positive ways or whether that person is dragging you down and/or is ruining your mental health and life. When they are ruining your mental health or your life, you know it’s time to leave.
The hardest part in leaving a toxic relationship is when you feel you are still in love. However, as I wrote above, you most likely are in love with your mate’s potential, or the fantasy of that person. Fantasy does not necessarily match reality, and when the reality is far darker, you know there’s trouble.
Some toxic people can be very loving and endearing at times. But because they dangle a carrot of loving behavior in front of you sometimes, they still take it away and treat you horribly at other times. When the behavior switches on and off between loving and not loving, cruelty and/or abuse, you have to realize that it’s an unhealthy, unstable relationship and get out.
And when you have a sick feeling in your stomach and are starting to unravel, that’s the moment when you know you have to leave.
Once you realize that it’s toxic for you, leaving a toxic relationship is the best thing you can do for yourself, rather than destroying your sense of self-worth even more.
So if you have found yourself wondering if you should leave a toxic relationship, the answer is yes! Why do that to yourself? Why ruin your chances of happiness?
Love is not just with one person – we can have love with many different people. There is always love to be found once you free yourself emotionally from a toxic person. There are far healthier people in the world, so do yourself a huge favor, rip off that band-aid and make your happiness your top priority. After all – your happiness, well-being and mental health are of utmost importance!
If you are not sure if you are in a toxic relationship, read my article on healthy vs. unhealthy relationships.
So here’s to leaving a toxic relationship and here’s to your mental health and well-being!