People get into a relationship for many different reasons. Far too often, it’s because of loneliness or because we falsely believe a relationship will solve our overall dissatisfaction in life. Staying in the wrong relationship happens all too often. Why do we do this?
A relationship can offer us many things – comfort, stability, safety, financial and emotional security and a sense of belonging. These are all bi-products that a relationship brings, but they are not good reasons for getting into a relationship or for staying in the wrong relationship.
When you know the relationship is not the right fit, or if you are unhappy yet prolong leaving, what does this accomplish? It wastes everyone’s precious time; it delays the inevitable pain of a breakup and it prolongs a state of unhappiness and/or dissatisfaction.
However, many people become comfortable and complacent. People generally don’t like drastic changes and prefer to avoid painful experiences and emotions.
If you find that you are in the wrong relationship and cannot muster up the courage to leave, think about what you really want in life.
Do you want to be happy? Do you want to find true love? Do you want to find the right partner, or would you prefer to be alone? What about your partner’s happiness? It is only fair to consider the other partner’s feelings in addition to your own.
These are questions we must ask ourselves if we find that we are dragging out the inevitable.
Sometimes, a partner may become very ill or tragic circumstances occur, and one decides to stay in the relationship because the timing is off. Or, often times unhappily married couples stay together for the sake of their children. These are reasons that are a bit more understandable.
However, when a person stays in the wrong relationship out of fear of the unknown or fear of loneliness, it is only going to cause more harm than good in the end. Dissatisfaction is prolonged in this case.
Life is far too short to be unhappy. If you find that you are in the wrong relationship, do yourself and your partner a huge favor, pull off that band-aid and end the relationship.
Yes, when we become single again, we can face loneliness. However, there are other healthier ways to resolve loneliness. We can call our friends and family, we can get involved in activities we enjoy and we can join social groups. We do not always have to feel lonely.
And fear of the unknown? Realize that you are clinging onto a false sense of security when it’s with the wrong person. The relationship most likely will unravel at one point or another. Gain some courage. Face your fears and jump into the unknown! You may be pleasantly surprised. New friendships can be formed. New interests and dreams can develop. Life can take on a whole new shape and meaning for us when we are single again.
Also know that we are each responsible for our happiness. A relationship will not resolve our dissatisfaction in life. We have to create happiness for ourselves, all on our own. A relationship will never make you happy if you are not happy in your own life — know this.
And being single can be very empowering. It gives us a sense of self-sufficiency and dignity. So, don’t be afraid of being single again. Be strong. Be courageous. Know that there’s beauty in life beyond a relationship. If you haven’t read my article on how to be happy single, this may benefit you now.
So, don’t cling onto a sense of false security and comfort, for your own sake and your partner’s sake. You owe it to each other to release each other if the relationship truly is a mismatch. Your happiness matters, as does your partner’s, so why exist in a relationship if it no longer brings happiness and joy?
Because isn’t that the point of a relationship? A relationship should enhance our lives; it should make both people feel happy and fulfilled. Sure, there will be bumps, life obstacles and difficulties, but you ride those through because you are generally happy together.
So, here’s to your courage and to your happiness! It matters!